Where is the bacon?

Bring back breakfast in bed: Why it’s awesome and a few tips too

Making her breakfast in bed is one of those true delights that’ll make you both feel awesome. So put your tighty-whities on, strap on an apron and let’s do this.

Let me start by saying this is not a “how to cook stuff” post. Rather, a few thoughts and ideas for you to consider, especially if you have been looking for something nice to do for your someone, or if you’re a beginner in the kitchen. Enjoy.

Some of you may know I’m an advocate for men stepping up their game in the kitchen. Although I’m primarily aiming this at guys, there are lots of ladies out there who might also want to lift their game. So when I say guys, it could just as easily be you too girls. This post has come about for four reasons:

  1. Making someone breakfast in bed is not that difficult
  2. Getting it right with perfect timing and delivering it with the element of surprise is no cakewalk, but is definitely a game worth playing
  3. Once you know the basics you can 80/20 it from there, and you will win every time
  4. It’s an inexpensive, fun thing to do for someone

Why most people don’t make breakfast in bed

Because they are lazy and think that a hangover is an excuse (the reality is that making breakfast in bed for someone despite your hangover means you are a god).

Because they don’t have the forethought, they are ignorant and they just didn’t think of how good it will be.

Because they think it’s too romantic/lovey dovey etc.

Worried they will botch it up and set off the smoke alarm.

Have no idea where to start, what to make, how long it will take.

Worried they will look like a fool.

Why you’re not like most people

She lets you go drinking with the boys all the time and is cool about almost all the shit you get up to.

You know that cooking for someone and giving them a nice surprise the moment they wake up is probably one of the simplest, basic, but genuine expressions that you like them, and that they are ‘all right’.

You know that with a little preparation you will probably be able to make a pretty good breakfast in bed without setting off the sprinklers.

You know that when you do something nice for someone it has a side benefit of making you more attractive. In the industry, this is what we call a win-win.

You know how 80/20 works and use this to make it easy for yourself.

You know that other people may find out, and you’re ok with it. Worst case scenario: street cred.

You’re a guy who actually cares for the person sleeping next to him, and you know it will make them feel really good, and you’ll give them something that is not all that easy to come by: an awesome start to their day.

What do you mean ’80/20 it’?

If you’re not sure, check here for the Pareto Principle and be prepared to have your mind blown.

So relating it to breakfast in bed, here’s where I would start.

Now you may think this is easy enough. But if something is easy to do, it’s also easy not to do. Thanks for your crazy amazing wisdom Jim Rohn.

The easy way to create an awesome breakfast in bed experience

I am stepping this out because although it seems simple enough, the idea of making breakfast in bed for someone can have the ability to seriously stress some people out. And it needn’t. Read on and see if you already know this stuff.

  1. A smart man would figure out what she likes first
    You kinda should do this in advance. Next idle time you have, take out your phone and make a list of food you know she likes. This part is important because no-one wants to prepare food that the other doesn’t/can’t eat. This part could take weeks or minutes. Once you have your list, number them in order of her most favorite.
  2. 80/20 your list
    What does your list look like? Let me guess. Bacon, maple bacon, eggs scrambled, eggs poached, sauteed mushrooms, spinach, roasted tomato with basil, omelet, pancakes, laté, espresso, hot chocolate, fruit, toast, toast with jam, toast with PB&J, toast with Vegemite, muesli, granola, smoothie, cereal, whole roast chicken…etc. Of course you’re freaking out what to make. So here is the tip: Just pick 20%. So if you have 10 things on your list, just pick two. You only need 20% for the breakfast in bed experience to make a mark and for it to mean something. If you think you can handle more, cool go for it. But for those of you who have never done this before (or not for a long time) just keep it simple. 
  3. Perfect it
    Now that you know what one thing will get the biggest bang-for-your-buck, figure your time requirement out to make that one thing perfect. Example: Let’s say your number one thing is bacon and number two is toast. If she really is a bacon fan, she will probably be quite ok just eating bacon. In fact, if she is a mad bacon fan – she’ll think it was awesome. But toast is on the list also, because she loves gourmet bread. So make perfect bacon (maybe even maple it or something), and make perfect toast. Go get some delicious bread, toast it up with butter, and boom. Her two favorites.
  4. Something to drink
    Final note – don’t forget the drink. Coffee, juice whatever works. It’s not hard to forget this one while you’re wrapped up bacon land.
  5. Presentation
    Ok, so wandering in with plates is cool, and will do just about every time. But – if you want to step up the game consider these simple upgrades. Most of these can be organised in advance too, so you can have it ready to go the day before.
  • Glassware. Tall glasses and wine glasses are great for juice. If you have them, use them. Straws and ice for tall glasses if you have them.
  • Coffee. You’re lady like her latés but you don’t have a machine? Got a coffee shop nearby? Outsource. Call ahead and tell them the exact time you’ll be swinging past. Coffee will last easily 10-15 mins before it starts to get too cold, should be plenty of time. Note: Even better – organise for your friend who is up early anyway to drop past and pick up the coffee for you. One less thing to worry about.
  • Water. Whatever drink you make – coffee, hot chocolate, juice etc – always add a glass of water. Got ice? Drop some in. Got a lemon? Carve up a thin slice and make it look pretty. Straws for tall glasses if you have them.
  • Booze. Your lady partial to Baileys in her coffee? Like a little vodka in the OJ? If so, then give the upgrade. This isn’t kindergarten here. Note: If you’re not sure about adding booze then simply putting the good stuff in a shot-glass to the side works fine, and may even work better – it turns it into a bit of fun, like a little game.
  • Napkin. Fold a few of those bad boys up and hold them down with your cutlery. 
  • Flower. Find a flower. Any flower.  Lay it down on the tray anywhere. Look, now it looks legit.
  • The walk in. Carrying all this is not a problem when you have a serving tray. Find a large serving tray, the bigger the better. Even if you’re not serving up much the extra space will add a little luxury. Here are a couple of examples, the ones with the legs are pretty cool hey. Click through for sizes/specs etc.

Be a champion and make breakfast in bed for someone

I hope all this talk of breakfast in bed has inspired to step up your game. Hell I know I’m thinking about it! 

All the best and have a fun time preparing, presenting and enjoying it. Big smiles all around. 

Like this? Share it. Cheers – Pat

PS: If you do decide to go make someone breakfast in bed – and I know plenty will – bring this post back up and leave a comment, let me know how it worked out.

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