One Does Not Simply

Separate the good from the crap. 

Not-so-subtlely share this page next time Christmas or your birthday rolls around. Boom, no more shit gifts. Enjoy!


Stop screwing around with cheap toys. I don’t know any man that wouldn’t be happy with these in their cooking bag of tricks.

Meat Thermometer

The Beastometer has a bunch of great features including highly accurate temperature reading in 4-6 seconds, handy HOLD feature, easy C/F switching, shatterproof, waterproof, and is one of the few on the market with a nice fine pointed tip. The difference between a toy and a quality kitchen utensil is night and day.  The boys at Grill Beast have made a quality kitchen tool. 

Longreach Tongs

I love watching suckers using kitchen tongs on the grill, face screwed up suffering 3rd-degree burns. Even worse, those abominations, so called ‘BBQ tongs’ that people think are housewarming gifts. You know the ones, in a pack that also contains a long spatch (meh) and a long brush or knife. Stop ruining your life and get this set of Mr. Grill 16″ Luxury Oak grill tongs.

Grilling Mat

Q. Why the hell?
A. Because we all know a vegetarian. 

I was introduced to grill mats by a vegetarian. Veggie burger, some clean tongs, and this weird black sheet thing. No need to clean the BBQ – I just placed it over the mess and cooked.

Somehow Grillaholics have kept this thin too, so you still get those gorgeous grill marks. Also use in the oven under roasts etc for super easy clean up. Then put it straight in the dishwasher when done. Refuse inferior imitations as we put too much energy into food; we don’t want it ruined – these things are PTFE (PFOA Free) and rated up to 260C/500F. Grillaholics Grill Mats come in a pack of two with a lifetime guarantee.

Grill Brush

I used to HATE these things. HATE. They are filthy. Then I found this dishwasherable one.

Sure, plenty of grill brushes out there (triple heads, the little scraper blade blah blah). If you need the scraper then you are not really a grill man, because your BBQ would not be that filthy. And the triple head ones are cool, but I just find them unnecessary… We’re not cavemen. We’re pintsmen. This thing looks cool too. This is not a must-have item as I say I went years without and did just fine. However, after a big grill session (or messy party) it has been a lifesaver due to having to deal with the morning after devastation with a hangover sent from hell. Fully stainless steel, inexpensive and effective


Let’s face it these are probably going to end up being manly coffee table beautifiers. But on the odd chance someone actually picks one up let’s make sure it’s a goodie.


I don’t know any beer lover who wouldn’t want a good book about beer, and to start with it’s difficult to overlook The Complete Beer Course: Boot Camp for Beer Geeks: From Novice to Expert in Twelve Tasting Classes. Written a true pintsman, it’s witty, informative, and if anyone actually reads it they will know a hell of a lot about beer without knowing they’ve learned it.


Theo & Co: The search for the perfect pizzaI have a soft spot for this book and refer to it often, as it has shaped my understanding of how pizza works, not only in commercial ovens but most importantly in your home. Theo & Co: The search for the perfect pizza also looks amazing, and with this sitting on the coffee table, at least one of your mates is sure to pick it up, and want to start cooking. Best of all – the pizza will be delicious.

Secret Santa / Kris Kringle

Complete Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man SkillsWhenever I buy books I always buy a box full, and a few years back I added this at the last minute to my order. It sat on the coffee table for weeks without me knowing what creativity gold lay between its covers. Complete Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook: Man Skills is exactly not what you think it is. Written so matter-of-factly and covering all kinds of worst-case scenarios. Think of it as the perfect Bad Santa gift. 


4255_300x250v3._V331031245_Learning new things is everything and I can’t get enough. For decades Audible forged their way to become true audiobook leaders, and in 2008 while the biggest and best in the game, Amazon (not surprisingly) purchased Audible for close to 300 million USD. If it’s worth listening to – they have it. Use this Audible link and Get TWO FREE Audiobooks.

As I stumble across more related cool stuff I’ll add to this page. Check it out when you’re stuck for ideas. Also, remember next time somebody asks you “what do you want for your birthday…” you know exactly where to send them. ?


Beer Snack Almanac
Bring Beer & Snacks!

Full Frontal Disclosure:  Some links here (not all) are affiliate links, and at no additional cost to you, I may earn a commission if you decide to make a purchase. I am not recommending these to you because of the few pennies they sling me so everyone just calm down. I do so because they have made my life better. And sexier. Hell, go direct without using my links I don’t mind. But if you do decide to purchase I appreciate the love and accept it as you saying thanks for the free content that Beer Snack Almanac provides. Cheers – Pat.